with
1) Time. I haven't begun to realize that it's been 3 months since I've started working at the Four Seasons. Yet, everyday I stare at the clock and wonder why it moves so fast when the things I do feels so slow and redundant. I keep telling myself that it'll be one year before I even know it. Yet, I hate this feeling of time moving extremely fast although I want it to. The faster time moves, makes me feel like I've yet to achieve something that's worth mentioning in life. People keep telling me that it takes time to achieve such feats such as becoming a sous chef or a food writer. Being the stubborn me, I like to convince them that I can be such a person in a short period of years, but I'm kidding myself, even the most capable of culinarians have a very difficult time achieving something profound as a sous chef in such a short time.
*sigh*
2) Work. Most people don't want to hear that word. I hate to say it, but I don't like work especially since it's so biased. More so, because I'm the new guy. The guy they've yet to trust. Everyday feels like the first day I came in, some of them look at me like I'm some newbie that can't do things. Things have taken a toll, I've managed to convince some of the higher ups that I can and am able to organize myself with work but I've realized the more I hate it, the more I want to go to work. I can't explain this, I just feel this way, it could be that my field requires a high depth analysis of methods and different approaches on dishes. Maybe, that's why.
I had an idea of someone but what would happen if she found my blog?
3) Girls. I'm not sure when I was like this, but it's been a while. I'm very biased when it comes to girls. I treat girl friends really different unlike I've treated other friends. I somehow like to stay emotionally in contact with them. In a sense, that I don't want to be their bf or anything but more or less a shoulder they can lean on whenever trouble hits them. I hate to say it but sometimes I tend to fall for these girls and I hate it when this happens. It's nice to fall for someone, but so many at a time? It's unhealthy . Don't misunderstand me, I'm not a player or whatever you would call such a person. It's just that I tend to open up my heart to often that it's left vulnerable to such attacks.
As it is, I've had more crushes than relationships add up. Things have turned really bad, such as college. Most of you from the same batch would know. It was pretty obvious. The thing is, I never actually wanted to be in a relationship to begin with. There's this thing about me when I get attracted to someone, my whole system shuts off and something else takes over. Like how Sylar's conscience took over Matt Parkman's body in the previous episode of Heroes. Same goes for me, only thing my "Sylar" would be my middle name, Adel. I hate being like this, it makes me never want to approach women. The only thing I can't tolerate, is when the person uses me. Like say, calling me up only to get advice on something then leave me at the branch hanging while there's no thanks and I'm ignored later when we bump into each other. At the moment, I have this extremely huge crush on this girl, DH27. Not going to post names obviously. I've never spoken to her nor have we ever smiled at each other. Oh well. Let's just see what I would do. I'm currently single by the way, it just happened. It was mutual. There, don't ask.
There you go. My obsessions. I have tons of others but this is primarily the main obsessions. I know the part about girls is pretty messy and not arranged nicely. I was writing without laying it out one by one, so I'm sorry but I think you should be able to understand it thoroughly. Alright, I think I'm about done here.
Visit here every once a week or every fortnight for an update. =)
Ta.
